Having a Job with Extreme Pregnancy Nausea

My Struggle:

For those who don't know what Hyperemesis Gravidarum is, it's a condition that some pregnant women get that basically "just" means extreme pregnancy nausea. This can run the gamut from all-day nausea that won't be relieved easily (or at all - even with medication) to severe vomiting that hospitalizes some expectant mothers for dehydration.

It's bad.

Though I have been diagnosed with HG, thankfully I have not had to be admitted to the hospital, and I only vomit about 2-3 times per week. Yeah, only.

Also, may I go on record as saying the term "morning sickness" is a misnomer I refuse to use as almost every mother - including myself - I have spoken to has told me that their nausea was not relegated to the mornings. Whoever coined that term didn't do their research properly...

Most pregnant women leave their pregnancy nausea behind by the beginning of their second trimester (around 13 weeks along). While that is still plenty of time to be miserable, there are the unfortunate few who don't graduate from the nausea and vomiting. Some merely have a few more weeks of discomfort or even agony, while still others experience it the entire 40 weeks of pregnancy.

Yes - Forty. Weeks.

We hear about someone having the stomach flue for a few days and we say "they were hit hard." People stay home from work when they feel nauseous and especially if they are throwing up. Granted, stomach bugs are usually accompanied by fevers and contagion, which do not, as a rule, follow pregnancy nausea. Although, with all the additional expectant mothers I've seen at work, I'm beginning to wonder...

When I was about 8 weeks along, I remember telling my husband Brock, "If I weren't pregnant and I felt like this, there's no way I would be going in to work." And some days I don't.

And others, I have run out of PTO and have to make the choice that, whether I feel well enough or not, I am an adult with financial and employment obligations, so I have to go to work.

And some days, I don't have PTO left, and I am still an adult with financial and employment obligations, and I stay home anyway because I can't mentally or physically do anything else that day.

Brock and I are fortunate that we have been able to put away money into savings up until this point, while many other families have not had that privilege. Because of that, we have a little more freedom in this situation. While it is depleting faster than we want, we do have a small reserve to fall back on, and we are grateful, though worried.

(On a side note - if you would like to support Brock and I, consider hiring me. I am a writer and editor specializing in novel- and copy-editing. I also offer tutoring in English and writing. I’m good at what I do, and, BONUS, you’d be helping out some new parents!)

I thank God for FMLA, which I was able to qualify for through doctor approval. It keeps me from losing my job but doesn't pay me a dime. Though, I pray for a time when there can be financial care - whether governmental, employment-based, or non-profit - that provides for expectant mothers who would otherwise lose pay due to a pregnancy-related illness. And let's not forget about the need for paid maternity/paternity leave.

My Gratitude:
A couple things I have practiced hard through necessity during this pregnancy are being in the moment and self-awareness. And it's rarely fun, but in order to survive, I am constantly checking in with myself and noticing how I am feeling.

"Am I hungry?" "Am I about to throw up?" "Do I have heartburn?" "Do I need to pee?"

And slowly it's turned from asking myself what I need, to knowing what I need:

"I'm hungry." "I need to throw up now." "I have heartburn." "I need to pee immediately."

This may seem like a small, perhaps even insignificant transition, but it's not. Not for me.

I have struggled my entire life to know what I want and need. I am a 6 on the Enneagram, and 6s are notorious for being self-doubters, relying on outside sources to tell them about themselves and to confirm their feelings and thoughts. So any step towards self-awareness and self-trust is monumentally meaningful to me.

Also, I wonder if it's part of the reason I got to feel my baby move so early.

Many women don't feel the baby move until 16 weeks or later. Most first-time mothers feel movement much later because they don't recognize it as the baby.

At around 17 weeks, I started to feel little, swooping, gold-fish feelings in my lower abdomen. I wondered if it was gas at first, but I didn't fart afterwards, as has been my gassy pregnancy norm, so I began to wonder if it was the baby. The feelings got stronger and more consistent over the next few weeks, and sometimes even felt like kicks. I became more and more convinced it was my baby moving around.

At 20 weeks, we had our anatomy ultra sound (no, we didn't find out the sex - we are WAITING until the baby is born!) and I was told I had an anterior placenta. Basically, the placenta is in between the baby and my belly button, which usually means it's harder to feel the baby move because movements have to be strong enough to be noticed through both the spongy layer of the placenta as well as the uterus.

Women with anterior placentas are told not to expect to feel movement until week 24, and here I was feeling movement at 17 weeks.

I am thankful. I truly believe my intense practice in being present, though often a misery, has been a hugely disguised blessing in self-trust and bonding with my baby.

And while I wouldn't wish HG on anyone, and I pray for future pregnancies without it, I will take my well-earned laurels and thank God for small mercies.